I wanna talk about three poets.
Poet #1: Mikey Mason
Mikey Mason is a geek comic and songwriter responsible for songs like She Don’t Like Firefly, Best Game Ever for which Gary Gygax’s family wrote him a thank you note, and sheer poetry like you’ll find in Han Solo Cool
If I could just be cool like Han Solo
If I could misbehave like Captain Mal
If I could just be half as smooth as Lando
I could get a grip on life somehow
If I could kick some alien ass like Ripley
If I could make you laugh like Doctor Who
If I could follow treasure maps like Indy
They would always lead me back to you
Mikey’s newest album, “Dangerous Gifts” was recently released and is probably his best work yet. I recommend you check him out.
Poet #2: Jake F. Simons
Jake F. Simons is my personal alter ego, the guy who writes stuff that I don’t necessarily want the kids I teach karate to find out about by accident.
In Jake’s book Wingman, you meet poet Luie Grant. He’s sort of like Beavis or Butthead would be after a few more years of life experience and a couple of trips to prison.
Luie tends to spin extemporaneous poetry during the adventures he has with his good buddy Max Farkas.
Here’s one of his haiku:
At the Home Depot
With two lovely women
Do they still stock chains?
And a limerick he aimed at Max after a particularly bizarre animal encounter:
Your situation’s quite goofy
But don’t try to be aloofy
We’ve seen quite a bit
Some really strange shit
But who knew monkeys used roofies?
TCK Publishing released Jake’s short story collection Five Days of Farkas earlier this month.
Poet #3: YOU
That’s right. YOU have the chance to win a free copy of both “Dangerous Gifts” and Five Days of Farkas. Here’s how.
Comment here, on Facebook or on my G+ profile with the filthiest, wrongest, sickest, most don’t-tell-your-mom-you-wrote-this haiku you can come up with that uses no curse words, anatomical terms for naughty bits or scenes of graphic violence. Your job is to force the reader to imagine something more horrible than you could ever actually describe.
- You can enter as often as you like.
- Deadline is Monday, November 26th.
- I will announce the winner (the very best entry) on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
- The winner will receive a free copy of both works.
- Two second-place winners (drawn randomly from qualifying entries) will receive either the music or the book.
So what are you waiting for? Get to it.