20 Something Betters

IMG_6121Just before moving to Malaysia, we had a going-away shindig at my favorite bar in the whole world. As that closed down, the plan was to meet (many of) my favorite people in the whole world at a friend’s house for drinking, Cards Against Humanity and general carryings on.

Things did not go to plan. My designated driver wanted to grab food before releasing me, and we were joined by a friend I hadn’t seen in 20 years. I showed up three hours late for my own going away party.

During those three hours, I took a moderate ration of shit via text messages and received a number of mild, friendly death threats. When I arrived, they proceeded to try murdering me with alcohol, and we played our game of Cards Against Humanity and engaged in general carryings on. At one point in the evening, I was told that a special new card had been added to my deck in honor of my perfidy.

I found that card this weekend…



Really, guys? Really? You had three hours of drinking with some of the smartest people we know, assisted by the ribald and hilarious horror that Cards Against Humanity brings to the table…and the best you could come up with was…



I’m hurt. Saddened to the core. Was I not worth the effort of a truly hilarious remark that cut me straight to the bone? No wry wink at one of my many human foibles? Surely a sly nod to a shared experience that underscores my imperfection was warranted.

Maybe your humor and fighting spirit were compromised by the double-barreled grief of my absence that night and anticipation of my absence for the coming year. Maybe you’d already crossed over into the zone where inebriation hurts creativity instead of fosters it. Whatever the reason, it is now my mission to deliver – Cyrano de Bergerac style – 20 better cards you could have slipped into my deck.



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On second thought, I see what you did there. I disappointed you, hurt your feelings, by implying for even a moment that you were less important to me than other friends, or adventures. I abandoned you in the middle of the event intended to ameliorate how I was abandoning you. I took the potential of that evening and made it something sad, weak and tepid.

I disappointed you, and you came up with the most fitting punishment imaginable:

A sad, weak and tepid Cards Against Humanity Card.

I love and miss you, my friends, and I bow you your greater skill at Cards Against Humanity related shenanigans.



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