Many of you have read this list, or a version of it, at some time in the past. It’s been running around the internet since UseNet was the only place such things ran around in. Kids in the audience should consult their favorite paleontologist if they’re unclear on what UseNet is.
Origins of these analogies vary according to the version of the email or blog post. Popular theories include:
- Entries in a “bad analogy” contest.
- Text culled by high school teachers over the years.
- Some wise guy making stuff up.
Read ’em. Or — more likely — read ’em again. Funny and educational is powerful stuff.
And now, the contest…
Take one of the analogies. Mad-lib with it, keeping the same basic structure but turning it into the funniest thing I’ve read this year. Post your entries in the comments below.
For the winner, I will post word-for-word the compliment of your choice on my personal and professional Facebook pages, and do a guest post on the subject of your choice on your blog if you have one.
I’ll make my final choice next week and announce the winner in that Friday Fun post.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two tweek’d out meth heads diving for the last box of Sudafed.
That one makes it clear that you live in Salem.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh like Linda Lovelace watching the Cosby Show.
Just remember, when it feels like your head is going up in flames, I’ll be there to pee on the fire.
His understanding of Geometry was like an angle, an obtuse one at that.
Like a metaphor, she was often indirect and subtle. But you couldn’t fault her wonderful simile, though.
Oddly enough, once Thriki had made it through the softened rind of the skull, these shrunken heads tasted like over-ripe Fuji apples, the kind you can buy for 79 cents per pound at Safeway, this week, only. Safeway, better than Voodoo.
The cannibal’s dinner cost an arm and a leg… Oh wait, that’s not an analogy.
Proctologists love analogies!
Oh wait, that’s a pun, not an analogy. How about this? Puns are sometimes like analogies in that they aren’t always understood, and often come out of one’s ass.
My proctologist compared my colon to the Persian Gulf: full of explosives, oil slicks, and the seaman of different races amd nationalities.
It’s like a snake with an ice cream cone….
Her eyes glistened in the moonlight, like a those of the criminally insane on a Lithium Drip..
Its like inviting Eric Robert to an intervention cause he brings the best shrooms
His slicked-back hair gave the impression of an Exxon-Valdez duck butt.
Ok THAT should get some award for best visual imagery! LOL
Her eyes sparkled and refracted the light much like the broken windshield shattered around her.
Her voice was an ear piercing at Claire’s–sharp and short.
His eyes popped like egg yolks.
You’re on a roll. A violent roll.
The revelation that her marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of her husband’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like coming home from a lovely day out shopping to find that she had had lettuce caught between her teeth the entire time.
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Sarsgaard is a CIA agent called Fitzgerald who’s chasing Roy, and his boss is a black lady called Isabel (Viola Davis).
Hmm it looks like your web site ate my initial comment (it had been super long) so I guess I’ll simply total it up what I wrote and say, I’m totally enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog blogger however I’m still new to everything. Do you have got any helpful hints for rookie blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.
Greetings, how are you? I hope you are doing well. I wanted to say that I like Friday Fun: Funny Analogies (and contest) ».
How did you make this blog look this good. Email me if you get the chance and share your wisdom. Id be appreciative.